Nothing Really Mattress
Are you happy with your life right now? I mean truly soul-satisfying happy? Chances are that if you are reading this, then the answer is a resounding no. If you think you are and you are still reading this, then you are a liar. If you are not completely happy, and you don’t want to be, then stop reading and go back to your Brazzers account.
I want to take this time to drop a bomb. A psychological and philosophical A-bomb. If you really want to be happy, you have to give it up. Stop. You have to stop trying. I am by no means the first person to reveal this paradox, but let me put it in perspective for the modern gentrifying Babylonian. Imagine what would happen if you stopped trying to be happy, and just lived. Be a human being. Be a human, being. You begin to smile; at the way ants walk on trails of pheromones, at how babies throw up in your car, at your credit card debt, and best of all, at yourself.
With every experience you carry the choice of how to perceive it. And when you stop wanting a situation to be good, you are free to experience it as it is. And if your humility is still in tact you may experience bittersweet happiness in your disillusionment. I believe the world’s greatest artists universally recognize this idea, and are capable of great work only after surrendering to the mystery of a stripped down reality. And I’m talking, back-alley, $25, oh my God those dentures come out, kind of stripped down reality. A reality so devoid of personal desires that food and sleep become obsolete. We cannot live in this realm however, only visit. Otherwise you die, which can be kind of cool too if you let it be.
If you see me out and depressed, it is because I am always happy, yet never satisfied. So go look at a tree and give up on being happy. Watch yourself be happy for the moment, but come back to Babylon. I don’t want you to die from looking at a tree.
-Anonymous Happy Contributor
Bubbles & Blankets
Brodie Rush will be showing a sneak peak of the 3rd season of his hit series “Bubbles & Blankets” at MiniBar this Saturday, April 28th. Two separate showings will be in affect at 8pm & 12pm.
Loose is on a tRoll!
Only the most delicate hands touch our Loose contributors.
Happy Birthday April!!!!
Kansas City is a Royal Piece…..of…….
“In honor of the start of America’s pastime and the Royals’ shitty opening home-stand over the weekend, here’s a video of George Brett discussing the intricacies of shitting his pants. It’s followed up by an equally entertaining video of Brett going off on the local media a few years ago. Enjoy. Should be another classic season of Royals baseball…I shit you not.”
-Sean Malone
Don’t you talk bad about my Mama’s!!!
Your favorite 39th Street Diner is closing (for good this time) 
Come to Mama’s 39th Street Diner this weekend before, during or after Middle of the Map. You can make a lovely afternoon of it and then stock up on poppers at your favorite gay bar, Missy B’s!!!!!
Mama loves you…
… and she wants to love you one last time.
“Even Osama’s going to be at Mama’s” – Whoopi Goldberg
“Four score and $7 for Mama’s Legal Hash “-Abraham Lincoln
Click here to explore your favorite diner.
Dan Matic
As the previously defined worlds of visual art continue to melt and coalesce into one another, we’re left with typifying creators in several mediums as mixed-media or multimedia artists. The terms are loose and expansive, but the work these artists do is also expansive. Danny Staton is one such local KC artist. According to his website, he works in “design, painting, printing, audio or video” (DannyStaton.com). His artwork showcases abstract but stylized screen print patterns and recognizable images that surface through the ether of his portraits. Many of his prints juxtapose tribal and primitive imagery with more modern layouts, colors and patterns (including some images of KCK’s own Janelle Monae). In addition, Staton is a prolific graphic designer who’s worked with several local companies and publications on fliers, logos and advertisements as well as album artwork for hip-hop artists and DJ’s like Dan Matic and Madlib. For those moved by a more traditional form of art, his mural and aerosol street-style work for Operation Breakthrough and others can be seen in several locations around town. Interested parties can check out Staton’s work at his upcoming show in April at the Icehouse (31st and Wyandotte in Midtown).
-Sean Malone
(Click for Slideshow)
SEX SEX SEX SEX
“You know you’ve lived in Kansas City too long when you find yourself humming the Standard Improvement jingle during sex.”
-Sean Malone
BikeWalkKC peddles Kansas City
As cities go, Kansas City is definitely on the side of sprawl. Considering it spreads the entire length of the ocean, owning a car is a necessity. The bus systems are limiting and as midwesterners we don’t have the patience to walk 20 miles to the nearest casino. Taxis are fine if you’re ready to pay in cash and get a critique of your lifestyle as well as perhaps being read a few scriptures from the bible. Yet there is a better option for the people of Kansas City – one where you can live, play and explore by bike. If you have the balls to do it, then you’re already a pro. But what about the rest of us? We’re in luck – we finally have some options to learn how to navigate the city on two wheels.
The good people at BikeWalkKC.com are on our side. BikeWalkKC is an organization that creates safer environments for local cyclists by encouraging cities, as well as countries, to fund and build bike trails, lanes and sidewalks. Can you image a KC with bicycles for rent on bike racks spread around the city? Ones that include built in GPS that offers safe directions to get to and from your destinations? BikeWalkKC is on it.
BikeWalkKC will be hosting an Event next month!
Dinner and Bikes Tour Stops in Kansas City
Saturday, April 7th, 6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. (Dinner starts at 7:00 p.m.)
EventPort in the Crossroads Arts District
208 West 19th Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64108
Tickets are $10 advance and $15 at the door
(BikeWalkKC members get a $5 discount)
